WARNING: TOO LONG; SKIP TO THE DRAWING FOR REGULAR UPDATES

If you are like me and have terrible eyes, zoom in on that picture. Yep. At long last, I can say they are ours. In case you haven’t heard, while mom and dad were walking the Camino de Santiago this summer to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, I got a text from my sister (whose turn it technically is to write this, but she’s busy studying for a chem final), telling me that there were kittens in the Uwajimaya parking lot.

Adopting them was out of the question, but they did look pretty cute in the picture she sent, so I said we could stop by and just say hi on the way to her optometrist appointment (all the way in Newcastle btw… guess who doesn’t have their license and needed a ride…). I am still not sure what I thought was going to happen if I stopped by to just say hi. They were there with some kind people who couldn’t take care of them any longer, and had been waiting since early in the morning for someone to bring them home. I got to talking with them, and suddenly found that I couldn’t say no to one, and then I couldn’t say no to both, and then at some point a very supportive security guard went inside to get a box for me, and then we were off: the three of us, a litter tray filled with turds, waivers to get them neutered at the Feral Cat Spay/Neuter Project (LINK TO DONATE—their angelic team offers low-cost/free surgeries, but the waitlist is months out, and they can only operate a few days a week), and our two new baby brothers. I have no idea what it’s like to be a parent, but driving back with them meowing in the backseat was… I dunno, a spiritual experience. I started shaking as the weight of responsibility began to sink in, and all I could do was trust that I wouldn’t get disowned.

We got home, cat-proofed to the best of our ability, and as temporary head of house, I began to panic. With some emotional support from friends who brought us takeout for dinner and promised to keep it a secret (thank you Uncle Paul and Auntie Tina), all that was left was to pick up my parents from the airport two days later and somehow explain what I had done without getting us into a wreck!

I used the Rodrick Heffley strat of lower mom and dad’s expectations, so when I immediately told them I did something bad, they assumed we burned the house or crashed the car or someone got injured or died, so finding out we just got kittens (which dad actually guessed—he knows me too well lol) was a huge relief. Another day, another Rodrick Heffley W. I guess I should add a disclaimer; this isn't an endorsement of hastily adopting pets while your parents are out of town. I know that it is a big commitment that requires planning for everyone’s sake, and I did have some idea of what I was getting us into since we actually put together a letter begging for a cat a few years ago which included a detailed budget. But I also just got really lucky. Here was Linus’ contribution to the petition we wrote in 2020 (+ his reality now! Manifest your dreams!):

He’s doing fine. After much ado, he is in his first year at Garfield and stinkier than ever, though recently trying to cover it up with disgusting boy perfumes (Ode de Toilet?). In true trumpet fashion, he’s too cocky for his own good and [this part went too far and I was asked to delete]. He is very different from us, already attending house parties (where are these kids’ parents?)—but don’t worry, he reassures: even though everyone else is getting crunk, he never gives in to peer pressure! This is excellent news. I suppose he does need to treat his body like a temple if he wants to keep doing travel baseball. But then again, what kind of temple is constantly staring either at its new gaming PC that it built with dad or its phone? Please for the love of all that is holy send him book recommendations. He is a 14 year old Asian boy in Seattle with a middle part who likes girls and blasting mainstream rap in his airpods just loud enough so that you can hear it, too! If you have also been impacted by this epidemic, know that you are not alone. Together we will break the chains they brought upon themselves from Amazon for like twenty bucks.

Dad is ditching us and going to India on some nerd trip. Not fair. I don’t know how he’ll survive without his precious little boys (he bought them both advent calendars at Trader Joe’s and plays Bad Bunny for them while he’s out working). He’s adjusting fine to his big boy pastor position and cringe as ever, which I maintain he gets from his dad. He watched probably every single M’s game and true to his robot self seemed to be unfazed at the end. He knows all of Linus’ friends and teammates by name, but can never seem to remember any of my best friends? Oh well, we still won the lottery with him. Sometimes I think about how terrible and traumatic my life could have been as a PK and want to cry tears of relief. He’s actually just a chill guy if you ever need someone to talk to about your problems (it’s kinda his whole thing), and sometimes he will pick you up from work with a care package (the care package was mom’s idea but at least he helped). What he lacks in Social Intelligence, he makes up for in Paying For Your Food and Languages and Life Advice and Fixing Your Computer. Special shoutout to everyone in the family groupchat (and beyond) who is victim to his text spam… stay strong guys…

Mommy loves the kits!!!! Can you believe it?! She doesn’t even wait until we’re out of the house anymore to pull out the baby talk. She covers their eyes while we’re bingeing Stranger Things and asks, “is this safe for him to watch?” She is still playing tennis (a couple Sundays ago she misread a text and went to the court at 6 ANTE MERIDIEM—now that’s dedication. Or stupidity. Probably both). She is also still tutoring for Northeastern, and whenever I happen to be doing my laundry by her office (which, to my credit, happens way less now that I’ve got that sweet sweet in-unit washer and dryer!) I can’t tell if she’s editing an essay or running a therapy session. Even though two of us are supposedly out of the house now, she’s still driving us places, helping us with errands, cooking our favorites… Sometimes I try to get her back for stuff and she says “as if you could ever repay me.” She’s half joking but it’s true. As if I could do it justice in writing, either. But anyway, she’s never not on that K-drama grind and even told our 5 year old cousin about KPDH before it blew up if that means anything to you. She’s also maintained her French Duolingo streak and is perpetually on the hunt for the next best Seattle croissant, so drop her a line if you find anyone who can beat Temple Pastries.

Poor Olivia took CHEM 152 and MATH 124 for her first quarter at UW. No wonder she hates college so much. Her other class is Mandarin so that she can be unstoppable in her quest to become the Asian of all time. Don’t ask her what she’s majoring in either. She doesn’t know. But she is planning on going pre-med, so send her your guidance or your condolences or whatever. She comes home every weekend to do more than her fair share of volunteer work at church (I show up late and do absolutely nothing sorry) and take naps with her brothers. Naturally, she is already a UW KSA freshman officer and also has a few other jobs that she rarely elaborates on which suck up all her free time (while she survives it by sucking a ghastly quantity of bobas through a straw). Fun fact: she interned for Vivian Song (Seattle School Board) and did the timekeeping for a Harrell-Wilson debate! I’m not sure how much she golfs (golves?) anymore, but she’ll definitely be doing some over break. Wish her luck on her next quarter! I heard chem will be making another appearance lol rip

**EDIT: THIS JUST IN: im an intern at kcsc for the youth programs (make a plug) and first tee coaching👍🏼

The babies are named 도토리 (acorn) and 묵 (a Korean jelly, often made from acorns), or Dodo and Mookie (relax, we are not D*dg*rs fans) for those who cannot read that. Though the list of nicknames seems to lengthen daily. They have already witnessed so much at such a young age, for example the Mariners winning the ALDS and also the Mariners losing the ALCS. They like Churu popsicles and strings and jumping on the counter. They are obsessed with their big cousin Mocha even though they pretend not to be (proof shall be given to those who ask), and are excited for it to get warm again so they can start going on walks.

Don’t have anything new to report besides graduation in the spring assuming I pass my capstone next quarter. Kudos and sorry if you made it this far. We are blessed to have such wonderful friends who remind us why we do what we do and are willing to read ridiculous amounts of oversharing. May your days be meowy and bright! Come see my baby bros! I hope they can be a reminder this holiday season that the impossible might not be so impossible after all. They are super chill and like visitors, especially when those visitors have ins with the treat dealer (me)

Byeeeee